I asked one of my sassy classy mommy friends to share with us a great family ideas/attitude they practice in their home. The times I have had her two adorable girls in my home, I’ve noticed their cheerful and helpful countenances. So, I can testify that what this family is doing WORKS!
She shares the following…
3 Keys to a POSITIVE Family
There are a few things that we do in our family that encourages us to keep a positive attitude and promote positive communication between us. Something that has worked for our kids is giving everyday things a catchy and memorable way of saying it. It’s easy for them to remember and makes things fun… try putting these things to a song or a tune. The key is to repeat it all the time.
We say to our children that we always Obey… All The Way… Right Away… With a HAPPY HEART. This little saying encompasses pretty much everything. If we are having a behavior issue, it is generally because they are choosing not to obey, not doing a task completely, doing something when they feel like it and not necessarily when they are asked, or doing things with a negative attitude. I also love this rule because it is so easy for the kids to remember and they understand it completely, which means they know how we expect them to behave.
Another positive thing we do, started with my husband, and it’s contagious. It’s a great saying that has such a positive effect that you can even say it in a mean or grumpy way because it just doesn’t work. (If you don’t believe me, try to say it in a bad mood or with a frowny face.)
The saying is… “Happy to do it”.
When someone asks something of you, you respond by actually saying: “Happy To Do It.” It’s amazing what these little words do. They tell the people around you, in this case your family, that you are happy to serve them. Even if they are asking something that you don’t generally like to do, or isn’t convenient. It will actually change your attitude about serving your family. You will really become, happy to do it. This saying is remarkable because it starts with the parents. My husband is super-fantastic at this, but honestly it sometimes takes a lot at the end of a long day when someone is asking you for something for the zillionth time. I believe that it communicates to everyone in our family that serving one another is the priority, no matter how tired we are, or how much we may not feel like doing anything. Children are wonderful little mockingbirds. They will mimic your behavior, for better or worse. It will warm your heart more then you can imagine when you ask something from your children and they respond “Happy to do it!” And, believe me if they see it consistently from you, that is the behavior they will learn. Besides our children, this saying is great for your marriage and the general spirit of love in your home. Imagine how you would feel if the next time you ask “Honey will you....” and they respond with “Happy to do it”!
This last thing is all about the energy we put off and what we allow into our homes. We have all had tough days, but why do we bring it home with us? Why do we let it ruin or control our day? Think about the times when you come together at the end of the day—for my kids this is after school, for my husband after work. We all agree as a family, that the first thing we ask when we see each other is: “What was the best part of your day?”
This opens the door for our first interaction after a long day to be a positive one, and it also forces us to examine our day for the positive things instead of focusing on the negative. Think about what usually happens after a long day. Your kids come home, we ask how was school and they say fine. Husband comes home from work and says “you won’t believe what happened to me today” followed by a long list like “I woke up late, ran out of gas, was late for work, boss yelled at me, things didn’t go well, I’m so behind”..etc...So then we respond with, “you think that was bad, you won’t believe what happened to me today!” Then we begin to compare all the negative things that happened to us that day.
Warning! This rule is not an easy. On occasion you have to “Dig Deeeep” to come up with something positive. Sometimes all it ends up being is, “The best part of my day is talking to you right now”. I promise, if you do this on a regular basis you will notice more positive things in your life and the little happy moments that happen during the day. A great bonus to this part is you will have a captive audience wanting to hear and waiting to share!
These three simple things have really helped create a positive environment in our home. It teaches our children to be positive both with our example and in setting a standard of behavior that they can understand and be excited about. They are really easy to implement, and I know that they will make a huge difference in your family; I know they have in ours!
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--Thanks Shane :)