Monday, December 20, 2010

Even if the home *looks* perfect…(part four)

{read from the beginning and see why things were not so perfect for me}

june 009

My kitchenette—as pretty and perfectly so as I wanted it, with each placemat in exact order. But, I didn’t feel like my life at the time was in the place or the order that I wanted it to be. So, I turned to some wonderful friends for advice on motherhood and marriage.

One of whom was a friend who I felt made me be a better person by just being around her. I am so grateful to learn from her and that I was given the opportunity to grow a friendship with her—we were able to bond over BBC Mini-series, chocolate and late night silliness : ) Her goodness, intelligence, character, and spirituality lifted me up as I looked to her as an example, and in my meager way trying to emulate her actions.

Here is what she shared with me.


I hate to say it, but I notice that there is more peace when I am happy and less when I am not, so my 'list' are also things that keep me happy. 

1. Scripture reading - the most effective thing I've found to keep our house (and me) at peace.  Family scripture time is also first on the list. 

2. I am much more patient when I get regular exercise and eat healthy.  Sad, but true.  

3. We try to limit "outside" media sources: no TV and very limited computer / video game time.

4. I have a constant goal not to raise my voice at my kids and I fall short of the goal almost daily - but I'm still trying!  I can really tell a difference in the feel of our home and my kid's confidence level between when I am yelling at them, and when I find more effective ways to discipline.

5. Lots of hugs and quality time.  My kids both enjoy hugs and cuddling.  I know this is different for everyone, though.  I wasn't a very "huggy" child.


1.  Marry a wonderful man.  It makes everything else easier :)  Good thing you've already done that one.

2. Aside from the obvious (attend church, scripture study, temple attendance) one of the most effective things we've started doing in recent years is having "companionship inventory".  Every night, when we're alone, we take time to just sit and talk about anything and everything.  This is probably not so necessary for my husband, but crucial for me, and luckily he's willing to humor me.

3. Along the same lines, we read "Men are from Mars...." last year and it helped us both understand each other better.  I know we're probably the last people on the planet to read it. 

4. We have a "date night" every Friday that we guard very jealously.  We only actually go out on a date about once a month, or we would go broke, but after the kids go to bed every Friday, we have date night.  We take turns being in charge each week and planning the activity for the evening.  In the past, we have read parenting books, played games, planned upcoming vacations, and even baked together.  Lately, we've been kind of tired out and just end up watching a movie.

5. We try to take a vacation, just the 2 of us, every other year.  I know this isn't always feasible...ours seem to get shorter and shorter - but it's oh, so nice.


Thank you LS! I’m missing your fudge.


The winner of the Little Yellow Dress Shop Give-a-way was up on my blog last week, but I didn’t put it in a post. So. I am now.

TeamBracken Won!!

Please email me with your address so you can get your precious outfit.

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Micaela said...

I love this one! What a great friend. I needed to get that advice today. Thanks for your willingness in sharing it. The answer is almost always scripture study ;) I'm slacking... not gonna lie.

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"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. "

-Margaret D. Nadauld