Today was Brayden’s fourth birthday.
Last night, since Sean is away for Navy training, I let Brayden sleep in the bed with me. I wanted us to wake up together on his birthday. This morning, even before the sun came up and while the rest of the world slept including my now four year old son, I laid awake watching him.
We were curled towards each other in bed. I just watched his precious face and enjoyed seeing him suck his thumb because although FOUR feels so big to me, with him sleeping and sucking his thumb he still has that baby part of him I can hold on to. It’s a sad day when the thumb no longer finds its way to the mouth as a signal for sleepy time.
Once the sun started to rise, Brayden started to stir and I could tell he was slowly waking up. He found his “green monkies” blanket curled around him and put it over his head like he always does. I don’t know if it’s to keep the light out, or just a comforting cocoon thing.
Too soon the sun rose and the room filled with light. My moment of solitude and reflection was over as Brayden stirred awake. I snuggled up next to him and wished him Happy Birthday.
His sleepy voice asked, “Am I four now?”
Yes my sweet b-bop you are four and suddenly so big. Three to four feels so much more then one year. Maybe because his fourth year is my last year of him home with me. I need to cherish four because five breaks my heart.
So, my blondie, before I see them fade away in this fourth year of growing up, I want to remember the little toddler things you do that made you my baby and my Sweet Bop B-Bop Brayden.
Show-in—Because you loved to watch DVDs and wanted me to put a show in the DVD player. Now any time you watch TV it’s called Show-in.
It’s Cloudy Day day. It’s a Sunny Day day. It’s a Foggy Day day—when you observe the weather day is always added twice.
What are we doing today?—you ask every day when we wake up
The solid green side of your Monkies Blankie always has to be up and Cars Blankie always has to be underneath it. And usually one of them is always asked to come with us wherever we go.
When I tuck you in at night you ask if you can have chocolate milk in the morning. You like to look forward to things.
Sucking your thumb and wrapping the edge of your blankie around your pointer finger of the same hand and holding your other hand up by your face. I call this your chipmunk. It’s your signature relaxing or sleepy time move.
Baths—you would take two a day if you could and often you do. You love lounge and float and sing songs, sometimes line up your toy selection of the day and make imagine play.
What do you like?—you always ask me when you need to make a selection, whether it’s a movie on Netflix, a game to play, a DVD to watch, a toy to pick out. Usually you end up not liking my choice and go with your own anyway.
Comfy—how you describe your hair.
Your favorite song is The Foolish Man and the Wise Man.
We watch Sofia the First together.
“What’s that smell?” is usually asked daily. I call you my Super Sensor because you are sensitive to smells and noise.
You’d have donuts for breakfast every day if I’d let you.
You love to give me kisses. I hope you always will.
I know you want to be big like “brothers”, but I want you to be our “little” for as long as you can. I cherish you in my life and being your mommy.