Sometimes in my life as a stay at home mother I have days when chocolate is the only thing that can fix my temporary insanity. Today was one of them.
My three year old talks like he thinks it is breathing oxygen--if he stops from doing it for too long (like 3 minutes) he will cease from existing. Finally today I had to say, "Talking time is over. Mommy's ears are tired."
My one year old should be named "Bam-Bam" because he loves to hit everything and everyone, and always seems to find all the toy bats (we have way too many) around the house. If he can't find a bat, he'll improvise and use a wooden spoon, whisk, blush brush, etc. He's a fierce one.
After being cooped up in the house for six hours with "talks-a-lot" and "bam-bam", trying to organize their closet from winter to summer clothes, and get caught up on laundry (my enemy). I get an email from my husband asking me to mail, TODAY, a package for a service project he is helping with. So, I figure it's an excuse to get dressed decent, put some mascara on and get out of the house. Plus I needed to drop off a movie at Blockbuster anyway.
I pull into the post office parking lot and realize what the date is today and that it is the WORST day of the year to be at the post office. With package in one arm, "bam-bam" in the other arm, and "talks-a-lot" trailing behind informing me that there are no fire ant hills on the grass like there were last time at the post office, I enter to see a LONG line. Well, 45 minutes later we make it to the front, but not without pulling down multiple displays, repetitive "come back to mommy" or "Go find your brother and bring him back". Luckily I had a sweet older women who finally said if I needed to step out of line to retrieve my boys she'd hold my spot.
With the post office horror over, it was time to attack Blockbuster. I decided to go inside and pick out a movie to watch later tonight to unwind. I tried holding "bam-bam" for as long as my arms could stand it, but they were already sore from the previous hour. I just had to let him down....10 seconds later there were movies strewn all over the ground. I crouched down to pick them up, but as soon as I got one on the shelf, he was knocking another one down. So, there I was crouched, with one arm holding a squirming child the other arm trying to pick up the movies and balance them back on the shelf, and my other son asking me something about a movie he wanted to rent.
I get to the check out--doing everything one handed because I still have a squirming child in the other arm. The cashier asks, "How are you doing today?" I respond "Hanging in there." Colton insists I get a penny out for him, as I'm trying to hand my blockbuster card and get out my free coupon. I get everything to everyone, and ask Colton what he needs a penny for anyway. He points to a gumball machine. I tell him "No sir". We finish checking out and walk to the car, as I answer all the reasons why gumballs are not a good idea, which he challenges because apparently his cousins have a gumball machine and all those kids can eat them. More discussion and explanations are debated. I open Colton's car door, buckle him in and shut the door, walk around to Rylan's side and buckle him in and shut the door.
For those FIVE seconds it takes me to walk back around the car to get to my driver's side, I revel in the quiet and take a deep breath. For only one of those seconds do I insanely think to keep on walking.
Errands are done, and we return home. The boys decide to play in the backyard for a while. I decide to go eat two handfuls of chocolate chips. I may need to go back for more before the day is over.
-Margaret D. Nadauld